HoydenSeek’s Weblog

hoy·den: a boisterous, bold, and carefree girl; a tomboy + seek: to go in search or quest of

Various Things I Find Awesome March 28, 2008

Filed under: Shits & Giggles — suzanne turner @ 2:37 pm

Quiet, occasional intense dancing, onion rings, sweet potatoes, travelling, slushy drinks, powdery light snow, visiting family, hearing peoples’ life stories, analyzing things, cuddling, hiking, tennis, exercise DVDs, small towns, memoirs, alternatives to the status quo, friendly non-barking dogs, amphibians & reptiles, napping, HBO of course, elaborate stage productions, oldies, nondescript roadside cafes, hotels, stone & concrete, art, cultures, architecture, history, eastern religions, outdoors, blankets, cocktails, well-spoken people, effort, aspirations, well-designed small household items, well-designed furniture, quirky shops, friendly bars, off the beaten path restaurants, comfy jeans, well-behaved children, books…   

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Girl Things I Love & Need (and recommend) March 27, 2008

Filed under: Very Good Things — suzanne turner @ 12:15 pm

– FACE –

SephoraBare Minerals, Stila, Cargo, Juice Beauty. Sephora’s website has got me hooked because all their products are great, but they also offer you free samples with every order, and extra samples with every hundred dollars you spend, even wen spent in the store. Just use your Sephora Insider card (which is a free membership,not a credit card) and they track it for you.

By giving me samples, I m now also hooked on Philosphy‘s clear make-up, and I like their food-inspired bath line.

Aveda – All Sensitive Moisturizer

Alba – sea facial mask

– HAIR –

A Nice, Big Paddle Brush + my little purse brush/mirror compact from Sephora.

Biolage Hair Products

Redken – Moist Ends

Bumble & Bumble – Curl Cream

Biosilk – Hair Silkener

– OTHER –

Candles – Yankee Candle Company – fave: Tahitian Tiare Flower. Pacifica Candles.

 

Why HBO Rocks

Filed under: Entertainment — suzanne turner @ 11:27 am

Well, I don’t know exactly why or how they do it, ok. But here are some of my guesses:

In Treatment – Incredble writing, amazingly deep characters, intense acting – this show’s got it all. I miss it so badly, every hotel billboard we pass on our trip that says HBO makes me want to stay there! (Ok, I just asked and they get it here where we’re staying with family in Helena!!! I guess I’ll finish the blog before I fire up the on-demand In Treatments we’ve missed.)  

Rome – Incredible reseach, superb acting, biggest-budget ever kind of set design… if you’re into history, or drama, or architecture at all, you’ll enjoy it immensely.

Big Love – Such a great premise for drama! One man, multiple women. What could be better? It also strikes a chord with me, as I used to be Mormon, so I enjoy seeing the research they did in order to make the show real. I hope Bill & Barb end up as a monogamous couple in the end, and the other ladies take their own road, but we’ll see.

Flight of the Conchords – Best comedy, I don’t know, maybe ever. Bret & Jemaine have got it going on. Its definitely quirky and silly, but its right up my alley. [If you’re already a fan, also check out the indie movie Eagle vs Shark, starring Jemaine. Think Napolean Dynamite meets Garden State.] We’ve watched each episode many times, and have had the soundtrack in the car for weeks. Maybe we’re too obsessed; it’s hard to say.

Tell Me You Love Me – strangely real drama dissecting the anatomy of love in its various stages – lust, connection, intimacy, alienation, rekindling. It’s amazing. If you can’t get past watching very raw, real sex scenes, this may not be for you. It’s not porn. Porn is fake. Sex is real, and in this show, they’ve done an amazing job of capturing all the moments a couple experiences. I love the journey the various couples make, and the progress, or regression they move through together. The season finale left me in tears and I cannot wait for the next season to start. I wonder if they’ll continue with the same couples, weave in more characters, or just start with new couples. I don’t care, I’ll watch it.

Sex & the City, Sopranos, Six Feet Under, Entourage, Carnivale, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Extras, Lucky Louie – I love these shows when I catch them, but I’m not quite as obsessed as the others. I got into the Sopranos & Six Feet very late, and will have fun sometime going back and starting from the beginning.

Everything Else –  the specials, the movies, RealSex, Cathouse, George Carlin… I love it!! One of the most wonderful specials was The Music in Me, a documentary about children who play musical intruments. It was so inspiring and fun to watch. Robert Wuhl’s comedic take on history is also hugely entertaining while informative.

DAMN that’s a lot of good stuff. I really don’t need TV. I just need HBO. Hmm, now maybe I need Showtime?? 🙂

 

Weight Loss Through Gross Food and Sheer Deprivation March 22, 2008

Filed under: Shits & Giggles — suzanne turner @ 7:37 pm

Here are my ten nastiest techniques for shedding those unwanted pounds. If only anyone could stick to them, we’d all look like Victoria Beckham! The funny thing is, each one could probably be seriously marketed and sell thousands of books. Hey, Dr. Phil can write a book that sells millions of copies, and yet… he’s totally overweight. Hmm. Here are a few diet plans I came up with in complete ridicule of this concept.

1. Only eat items available in tiny containers such as beenie weenies, baby food, cat food, vienna sausages or green chiles. For each meal, choose only one container.

2. Scratch off the markings on your oven dials, or switch the dials around to create easier under/overcooking. 

3. Travel to a country whose food disgusts you and stay until you reach your goal weight.

4. Pick a vegetable to be your only allowed food for a week. Even if you like it, you’ll tire of it and thus control your portions.

5. When you feel like snacking, grab a dog biscuit instead of chips or crackers. You won’t feel like binging on them, and they polish the teeth!

6. Instead of eating dinner, try drinking hard liquor. You’ll probably skip breakfast then too! I’ve found tequila works wonders for this method. Too many mixed drinks, and badly mixed drinks are another great cure for a hearty appetite. 

7. For a whole grocery trip, only buy animal byproducts.

8. When you need to lose more than 30 lbs, go on the 3 month hunting diet. You can only eat things which you hunt and kill. This is automatically high protein, and burns calories during the chase!

9. Marry a terrible cook.

10. When you start to feel pudgy, cut out all carbs until you’re nearly too tired to continue breathing. Then transition into the fad diet of your choice: the Cabbage Soup diet, Champagne & Cigarettes diet, or the Tapeworm Diet. Repeat if neccessary.

 

Bumper Stickers for the Other Guy’s Car

Filed under: Shits & Giggles — suzanne turner @ 2:32 am

I know some people are into expressing themselves via the blank canvas of their vehicle, and then others just aren’t. Maybe they don’t have opinions to shout, or they don’t feel like affixing a semi-permanent decal to their expensive ride. I’ve been through both phases, but now I really want to explore the mode of communication’s potential as a decent prank…

You know those HUGE lifted trucks that have multiple axels and make a ton of noise for no good reason and the dude tries to use his angle to look down your blouse? Well, while he’s in buying his Bud Light & Penthouse, I really want to slap one of my handy stickers on his tailgate: “compensating???” 

Boss not following through with that bonus he promised? In fact, you haven’t heard a word about it since you reached the goal that got him recognized, but all you have heard about is his precious progeny? Throw one of these babies on his new Audi, crouch behind a distant shrub and watch him change colors: The teachers at MowLawn Elementary told me your kid’s a cocky dipshit, just like his father!” 

If you’re not quite feeling up for full on road rage, you can take the passive-aggressive approach with these gems: “Tailgating Buttnugget” or “Honk if I Just Cut You Off!” or perhaps the perennial favorite “I refuse to disobey the speed limit and that’s final, and I always drive in the fast lane and refuse to move over, thankyouverymuch.”

Here are a few others I just found, actually commercially available! Hahaha! At least these are just magnetic. Oh, the wonderful horror! 🙂

 barnyard.jpg           hooker.jpg           boobs.jpg           ihavecrabs.jpg           goldenshowers.jpg

 

An Acute Case of Wanderlust: Gastrointestinal Symptoms and Hazards March 21, 2008

Filed under: Travel — suzanne turner @ 3:30 am

I don’t know about you, but when I travel I love coming home again- not because I like staying home- I usually miss where I traveled already. I love coming home to my own bed, my own kitchen, but most of all, my own bathroom. There is a certain shape of your own toilet seat, that familiar feel of the exact water pressure in your shower, and knowing exactly how much hot water time you have before you’re rinsing your hair in cold water.

Traveling this time is different. I have no home to go home to. Lease is up, we’re flying free, which feels great  99% of the time, but I’m having to develop the skills of a modern nomad- some of which, I’d never considered. Maybe it’s because I’m a girl. Maybe I just like the creature comforts of daily life. Whatever it is, it drives me to maintain a running, ranked list of bathrooms I use. Each and every friend’s place, bar and hotel has its pros and cons, and its good to know the ins & outs.

There’s quite the array of rest stops and powder rooms in these parts of Wyoming. There’s Mingles, the billiards spot of choice offering free help-youself nachos and buttered popcorn! Here the stall doors don’t latch or even close all the way- one last resort stall has no door at all. But there are a lot of funny comments written inside the stall, which is always entertaining. Perhaps I’ll attach a picture, but I’ll have to blur all the phone numbers!

Then there’s the one-room-only types, such as at Third Street Bar, where you have to anticipate needing to go in advance because girls are always lined up and sometimes just end up going in the men’s. You can hear them hopping around waiting outside the door, so you attempt to multitask- flush while activating the first motion-detected paper towel to advance; wash hands while checking hair & face conditions.

Then there’s the terrible ones- the kind that give you a heart murmur as they take forever to swirl around and make you feel like they may not ever flush at all. Even worse is when they don’t! Ah! You want to announce “I didn’t do it! It’s just pee, your toilet sucks!”

Just to exacerbate everything, you also have the wonderful traveler’s adventure/nightmare of navigating new food and drinks. Of course you have the random tiny bugs and bacteria in the water in the mountain streams, Central America, Asia or wherever, sure. But no one ever thinks of the silent stalkers- airline food, the excessive Tequila drinking, the competitive nature that compells you to play one more game of beer pong for the title, the greasy 24-hour diners that sound like a good idea at the time. 

What did we ever do to Montezuma anyway? And why won’t he just stay in one place? How can he be everywhere at once? And how can he possess our bodies, doesn’t that somehow violate the law of impenetrability? Is he the devil’s answer to the Holy Spirit? For that matter, maybe that’s what Hell is! That’s why everyone’s always so hot and sweaty and miserable. It’s just a constant state of all the symptoms of the Pepto Bismol Song. (Nausea, heartburn indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea!) And maybe just for extra torture, Gilbert Godfried, Fran Drescher and Kelly Osbourne are all there acting out and singing the Pepto commercial, but you can never buy any. If God really wanted us to be good, he should show us hell. If we actually saw that Pepto spot… whew! Serious deterrent.

 

What’s New for this Honorary Cowgirl March 18, 2008

Filed under: Travel — suzanne turner @ 4:35 am

So here’s the first in a long line of promised updates. Packing & moving seemed like it would never end, and then in a blink we are outta there. The trip over was painless (though Joel drove the whole way, so asking him may be slightly different 🙂 and fun.

We stopped in Las Vegas, though one short night there isn’t really enough to do much. I was dead set on those buttery, crispy shrimp tacos and delicious salsas from the legendary Pink Taco, but as we walked down the street, I remembered they seemed to close early, so luckily we called and found they were indeed closing soon and turned around. It did work out fine, because I made a much needed pit stop at Sephora- all my makeup disappeared in the move! And we got to check out the Bellagio water show as we walked by. We were so famished and tired of walking by then, we were jonesing for something very near our hotel. We ended up just chillin with some good drinks and incredible nachos at Maragaritaville. It really hit the spot after that great road trip diet of pringles, gummy bears & jerky. That place is really cool because there are people of all ages, families, couples all having a really great time. They had a cover band so good, we were debating over whether they were lip synching or using parts of the real track. In the end, we decided they are just really damn good.

We even made it up in time to get back on the road by 7. Yikes! But Joel was more than ready to be home, and also to get there at a decent time, being Friday, in order to meet up with friends. We made great time, and watched the weather and the landscape change drastically as we drove. It snowed off & on through Utah and Wyoming- the first snowfall I’ve ever seen. When we got to Laramie and went out, I got to feel my first snow! It was so pretty, but gets you a little wet when you warm up. I see why people drink so much- you get warm and don’t care so much if you end up having to walk home. That’s another thing- drinking, hanging out, walking around- its all really fun to me in a small town. Where I’m from, you can’t really all drink, someone’s gotta drive. Its also hard to see your friends as much as you want to. It just doesn’t work out with schedules and distances. Here, you meet up pretty much every day and every night. We’ve been meeting Badi for his lunch break, and then have dinner with friends or Joel’s family, and then lots of friends for drinks. It was a great weekend, but then we also had St. Patricks Day to just extend the weekend even more.

I really am lucky to get have a boyfriend whose friends & family I love so much. They are as much my friends & family as my own are. They are amazing people, and so hospitable. Last night we all drank so much, Joel passed out after half of Casino Royale, and Badi came laughing and stumbling in a little later and we all crashed in various parts of Brian’s living room. Brian, also drunk, insisted on giving us pillows, blankets, water, movies, and had also made us this fantastic pot of chili for dinner that evening. I’m glad that Joel is home and getting to see everyone. I can see why they were so missed.

Joel & his dad gave me a huge tour of the University, which is absolutely beautiful, and he points out sights all through every drive. He had been telling me, its so trashy; its so dirty, you’ll hate it… I think so that when I saw it, it wouldn’t really be too bad. And it worked. I like the small-town thing, it’s got its benefits. I can see how if you grew up here, you’d be going stir crazy. But once  you’re in a stage where you want to own a house, raise kids, have a hobby or two, see your friends all the time, and not sit in traffic for hours, it starts to regain some appeal. Laramie specifcally isn’t it for us, as Joel has seen & done all it has to offer, but there has to be a happy medium for us between the little town and the big city. 

I’m always tired here, and they told me it is the alititude. I figured I’d get used to it by now, and they said it takes weeks! By then, we’ll be gone. So now, I need a nap before I can continue. I’ll tell you a bit more later.